19. Parents and Children
Parents must not place other activities over the
ecclesial meetings, no matter how attractive they may be. By observing that we
give top priority to ecclesial functions — Bible classes, public lectures,
and special events — our children will grow up believing that this is the
way of life to follow. Ironically, we often want to see the type of dedication
in our children that we ourselves are unwilling to give. By placing a priority
on ecclesial activities, we are demonstrating to our children what is important
to us and consequently what should be important to them.
Many ecclesias provide wonderful opportunities
(through Sunday School and C.Y.C. groups — “Christadelphian Youth
Circles”) to supplement the work of teaching children in the Truth that
should be done in every home. Parents are strongly encouraged to avail
themselves of all the possibilities in this area — even for young
children. But they must never forget that the primary responsibility for
training the young rests with the parents, and not the Sunday School teachers
and youth leaders.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, its
builders labor in vain” (Psa. 127:1).
This psalm was probably written by Solomon, who
built the first temple in Jerusalem. That majestic house is not, however, the
principal thought of this psalm. Verses 3 and 4 are speaking of children (Hebrew
“benim”, signifying “sons”), and there is a verbal link
with “house” of v. 1 (Heb. “bayith”). The psalmist is
speaking of the building of a family; as one places brick upon brick
(“eben”) to construct a house (“bayith”), so parents
build son upon son (“ben”) to produce a family (also
“bayith”). Yet if this is not done in recognition of God’s
principles, then all the effort in the world will only bring vain
results.
How true this is by observation today! There are
many couples who desire to do all they possibly can to ensure the success of
their children. No effort seems too great, nothing too expensive; an extra
income is sought if this will provide the family with greater advantages for
advancement. Every whim and fancy of the children is satisfied. Teenage years
are reached and the indulged children are subject to increased exposure to
liberal views and permissive immorality. The benevolent parents bow again to the
wishes of their child — “We must change with the times”
— and a distressing breach is made between the two generations, often
developing until the offspring use the home as a guesthouse of convenience, a
“staging area” for all the exciting times to be found away from the
family circle.
“If then I be a Father, where is mine
honor?” asked God of Israel (Mal. 1:6). The joy of parenthood has been
lost. The parents have become downtrodden and even despised servants in their
own homes.
What has gone wrong? Is there a solution? In the
first place, it is obvious that the Lord has not been involved in the building
of such houses. His principles are not operating within the daily program of the
home. Other influences have been allowed to interfere until the Truth has become
a secondary matter. School, homework, and sports can be a complete life for a
teenage student. It may be thought that these matters are in themselves
relatively harmless: this may be true. But none of these activities will assist
the child’s entrance into the kingdom. “Wherewithal shall a young
man cleanse his way? by taking heed...according to thy word” (Psa. 119:9).
The primary obligation of parents in the Lord is to instruct and guide their
children in the knowledge of God (Eph. 6:4).
It is not to be taken for granted that children
in Christadelphian families will grow up to accept Christ. It is an outcome of
careful instruction and example over many years. Notice the confidence that God
expresses in Abraham:
“For I know him, that he will command
his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the
Lord, to do justice and judgment” (Gen. 18:19).
There was no question about Abraham’s
priorities as a parent: “he will command”! Abraham is known in
Scripture as the “father of the faithful”, so it is interesting to
note the divine approval of his parental role in the natural sense. His
technique was authoritarian (cp. Prov. 13:24; 19:18; 22:15) and totally out of
keeping with modern philosophy - in contrast to David’s rather too
lenient approach (1 Kings 1:5,6). Yet God approved of Abraham’s method,
and the fruits were a united family of faithful people who were earnest for the
things of God. He was a father of love and feeling (Gen. 22:2), but a father who
earned and demanded and received respect (Mal. 1:6).
