17. Marriage “Only in the Lord”
The Scriptures abound in warnings against alien
marriage: The sons of God marrying the daughters of men resulted at last in the
Flood (Genesis 6-9). Abraham and Isaac, faithful sojourners looking for the
Kingdom, opposed such marriages for their sons (24:3; 28:1). The Law of Moses
forbade the yoking together of the clean ox and the unclean ass (Deut. 22:10).
Moses said to take no alien spouses (Deut. 7:3,8). Solomon’s alien wives
turned his heart from God (1 Kings 11:1-11). Ezra (ch. 9;10) and Nehemiah
(13:23-29) tell us of the evils of such alliances, and Paul has stressed the
deviation of such a union (2 Cor. 6:14-18).
Those who are courting or are contemplating
marriage must remember that complete happiness can be achieved only when it is
“in the Lord”. History and experience show that where there is no
unity of thought and purpose, whether it be between God and Israel, Christ and
the ecclesia, or between a husband and wife, there may follow a break in
fellowship and unity. How could it be otherwise? That is the sadness and the
tragedy of divorce or separation.
When the Israelites were delivered from Egypt
they were told that they should not “make marriages” with the
peoples of Canaan. Moses gave the reason in words which are relevant
today:
“Thy daughter thou shalt not give unto
his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. For they will turn away
thy son from following me, that they may serve other
gods...”
Paul had much the same thing to say when he
wrote:
“Do not be mismated with unbelievers.
For what partnership have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has
light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what has a believer
in common with an unbeliever?”
Marriage, properly understood and lived, is a
part of the divine fellowship in which love, patience, sympathy, understanding
and service can be truly learned. Happy is the couple from whom these flow to
the rest of the household of faith, for their reward will be the eternal
blessing of the Father.
In being prepared against the
“problem” of “alien marriage”, it is not sufficient
merely to quote one or two passages like “only in the Lord” and
“be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers”. We should see
far more clearly than that. It is the general realization and appreciation that
to marry “outside” is wilful disobedience to the Lord who bought us,
and it is a failure to understand the loftiness of our calling. We are invited
to be the Bride of Christ. How then can we be associated in the closest intimacy
with one who is not a member of the called-out ones in Christ? The whole of the
Word of God requires this necessary separateness.
The Lord knows all our circumstances and He
arranges that which is best for us. If in all our ways we acknowledge Him, He
will direct our paths. “Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him”
and the Psalmist assures us that finally ”He will give thee the desires of
thine heart”. If we thus “rest in the Lord”, then we can rest
assured that in whatever circumstances we find ourselves, those are the best for
us in the ultimate. If other conditions were better, then the Lord would bring
them to pass.
It may be, perhaps, that celibacy is best for us
— the Lord knows. If, on the other hand, marriage with a true companion is
the better condition, then the Lord will see to it that the proper partner comes
along. Sometimes such comes to pass later on in life. Place the whole matter in
the Lord’s hands and leave it there. Above all, don’t try to
short-circuit the Lord: after putting it in His hands, don’t rush hastily
into a marriage pretending it is the Lord’s doing. When the Lord moves in
the matter there will be no mistaking it, and then one may say: “This is
the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our
eyes.”
