Merry Something, and a Happy Whatever!
Please accept, with no obligation, implied or implicit, our
best wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice period,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of
your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious
and secular persuasions and traditions of others, and with further respect for
the choice of others, if so they choose, not to practice any religious or
secular tradition whatsoever.
Furthermore, please accept our hope for a fiscally successful,
personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the imminent
onset of the generally accepted renewal of the calendar year, but not without
due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures -- whose contributions
to society have helped make America great. (This must not be taken to imply that
America is necessarily greater than any other country, nor that it is the only
"America" in the Western Hemisphere.) Finally, such hope is offered without
regard to the race, creed, color, age, country of origin, physical ability,
religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the
wished.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these
terms.
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is
freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher actually to implement any of the wishes for himself or
herself or others; is void where prohibited by law; and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to
replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
wishee.
