Now hiring
Today, if we want additional laborers, we might, among other
things, place an ad in the newspaper in the "Help Wanted" section. If we did the
same thing for disciples of Christ, how would it read?
HEAVY LADEN? SEEKING REST? MY YOKE IS EASY, MY BURDEN IS
LIGHT!
HELP WANTED: Master in search of faithful, full-time
assistants. Only serious applicants need apply. Growing company of believers
seeks eager, searching individual for position of disciple.
JOB REQUIREMENTS: Applicant must be faithful, hard working,
dedicated and of high moral character. Also, servant must not quarrel; instead,
he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Must exhibit the
following characteristics: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
POSITION: Many opportunities available depending only upon
skills and desires of applicant. No limitations based on income, social status
or standing, language skills or physical abilities. No high school or college
education required. Former work experience for sin will be cleaned up on first
day on the job.
JOB ENVIRONMENT: Hours are 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
No vacation or holidays. Once the job has begun, applicant must not turn back or
the latter end may be worse than the first. Applicant must be willing to endure
trials. No experience necessary.
TRAINING AND TESTING POLICY: Applicants must be willing to
endure our strenuous training and testing. Will not test beyond what applicant
is able to bear. Plus extensive and inspired training manual provided. Manual is
useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that
the trainee may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
ADVANCEMENT: Advance quickly from hopeless sinner to justified
saint. Not merit based. It is of faith, that it might be by grace; to the end
the promise might be sure to all the seed.
DISCRIMINATION POLICY: There is neither Jew nor Greek, there
is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one
in Christ Jesus. No discrimination toward former servants to sin. All welcome.
BENEFITS: Wages -- none. Gift -- priceless. Benefits include
large and loving family, redemption, forgiveness from sins. Unequaled retirement
plan.
(KT)
