Divorce
"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not
separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be
reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife" (1Co
7:10,11).
In relation to brothers and sisters in Christ, we believe
divorce is contrary to the commandments of Christ; and that if a believer is
divorced, remarriage to another partner should be out of the question as long as
any possibility remains for a reconciliation.
"But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to
fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs
and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib
he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This
is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called "woman", for
she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and
his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame" (Gen
20:20b-25).
"Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to
divorce his wife for any and every reason?' 'Haven't you read,' he replied,
'that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, "For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh"? So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate'" (Mat
19:3-6).
God's purpose was clearly that man and woman joined together
in marriage should be joined together for life. Only the death of one of the
parties should terminate the bond. It is easy to see various reasons for this.
The very method of Eve's formation ("bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh")
laid the basis for this indissolubility; the mental and moral qualities of man
call for it; and the purposes of marriage in the increase and nurture of the
race demand it.
It is plain that estrangements and separations between
husbands and wives, whenever and wherever they exist, are incompatible with the
high standard of conduct which the Bible sets forth. In the light of this
exalted teaching, it is considered that where estrangement is threatened between
husband and wife it is a Christian duty to seek patiently and actively a renewal
or resumption of normal relationship.
Not only is this the duty of husband to wife and wife to
husband, but also of those who can offer wise counsel with patient
understanding. Where estrangement followed by separation has already happened,
and while reunion is still a possibility, the pursuit of divorce and remarriage
is a definite negation of the teaching of the Lord -- because the successful
pursuit of such a "solution" removes forever the possibility of reconciliation.
These considerations apply with added force where there are children to
consider.
"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of
divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital
unfaithfulness, causes her to commit adultery, and anyone who marries a woman so
divorced commits adultery" (Mat
5:31,32).
" 'Why then,' they asked, 'did Moses command that a man give his wife a
certificate of divorce and send her away?' Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted you
to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way
from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for
marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery'" (Mat
19:7-9).
Divorce obtained by a brother or sister on any ground except
that allowed by Jesus is a sin which cannot be overlooked. Nevertheless, the
ecclesia should not exclude the possibility of true repentance after the fact.
Furthermore, while remarriage by a divorced person, or
marriage with a divorced person, are contrary to the highest ideals as expressed
by Christ, it is possible to envision circumstances in which it would be unjust
for an ecclesia to lay down a course of action without discrimination.
In dealing with all who come short of the divine ideal, our
aim should be, not only to admonish and rebuke, but also to restore. While
trying to maintain to the fullest the high standards of Christ's teaching, we
must beware of slipping unconsciously into an attitude toward offenders which
the Lord would condemn. To achieve the right balance in these matters in the
spirit of our Lord's teaching, calls for prayerful and persistent effort and
humility of mind.
